another moral hangover. fuck.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
