don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"