Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize