every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?