I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
