Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
