Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
