No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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