No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
