dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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