I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We don't watch enough power rangers
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize