Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize