I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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