Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
