So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize