nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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