he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
