ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
