I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
