oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
