The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
