He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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