dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i would punch a child for taco bell
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
