Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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