Midget sex pt 2 tonight
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
