hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
