Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
