So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
