i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
