i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
