We're like a lot better than the average bears
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
