Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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