we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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