im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize