a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
