He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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