I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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