I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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