Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
