i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
