I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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