I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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