You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
