If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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