i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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