FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
