I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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