it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My liver just broke up with me...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
