i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
