The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
