peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She even gives head with a lisp.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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