Fuck appropriateness.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
