He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
