I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
